Disclaimer.

Hi. I'm not too sure if the life and times of Natalie Faris is blog worthy, but I like to tell stories so hopefully those will suffice. You know how everything online has a "terms of service" that you never read becase they make it unbearably long and abnormally tiny, I think I will make a terms of service for this blog. I'm feeling a little bit of pressure becuase I feel like all of the witty things I have ever thought suddenly disappeared once I began this entry. But the following are rules of my life and writing that one must accept when getting themselves into my blog, and in turn my mind:
1. My faith lies in my belief in the universe, fate, destiny, angels, ALIENS, my family, my students, and most importantly myself. Instead of praying I just focus my energy on those things.
2. There is no doubt in my mind that anybody loves Jay-z, Beyonce, Vanessa Carlton, Daniel Radcliff, Regis Philbin, Lil Wayne, Muriel Joyce, or Karlie Faris more than me. I think being so inspired that it could be considered borderline obsessive with someone is overall really positive. It shows dedication and goals. I waited by myself for 5 hours in the front row of the main stage at coachella, with over 45,000 extremely intoxicated people behind me so that Jay-z would acknowledge me. Before that I flew to New York and waited outside the back door of Equus for 5 nights straight so that Daniel Radcliff would sign my program. If you think these make me crazy, you'll probably want to stop reading, because until several people told me I thought all of that was completly normal.
3. Please don't be fooled by my white exterior. Inside I am a black woman, who tries really hard to speak accurate spanish. I was clearly born into the wrong body. It's like transcultural. Duh.
4. I really like astrology but I only believe it when it has something nice to say about Picses. I also think Pisces is by far the best sign. I have a personal affinity towards Geminis, Libras, and whether or not it's good for me, Aries.
5. If you don't believe in aliens don't tell me. I'll judge you harshly.
6. If you are annoyed by reality television this is not the blog for you. Survivor was a main staple of my childhood and I am obsessed with Jersey Shore and The Bachelor.
7. I know I'm really strange and that it's easy to become annoyed with me. Instead of being emo I just try to assume that "If you got haters, you're doing something right" as all real gangsters should.
8. I abbreviate everything. It's a conviniant habit developed my senior year of high school. Perf.
9. I'm pretty much over these rules but I do want to say that my favorite things are manners and movement.

Today I only ate three chocolate chip cookies for lunch so by the time 9:30 p.m rolled around I was obviously famished. I went to the movies to go watch New Years Eve with my bestie Amber. (we've danced together since I was 4. she'll most likely become a frequent character on this blog. she's also one of my heroes) and I got a hot dog with some popcorn for us to split. Like all American consumers I obviously upgraded our popcorn to a large for $1.50 more. (P.s i just remembered i forgot to make the lady swipe my rewards card. UGH) That $1.50 lasted for approximatley 7 more minutes before I spilled all of it onto the theatre floor. This is a prime example of how my life goes. Hopefully you'll enjoy it.

On the bright side, my two idols Beyonce and Jay-Z had their baby today. Her name is Ivy. I'm going to pretend her name is Queen-Z. My newest goal is to be her dance teacher within the next 4 years. Perf.

The moral of the story: Cheers to Gary Marshall and how every movie he directs directly touches my soul. Further cheers to Queen-Z and how she has got to be the richest infant in the world.

<3 Nat