Doctor: "Do you consider yourself an anxious person?"
Nat: "Oh no. I'm really relaxed. I try to meditate and breathe, I'm pretty calm."
Doctor: "Ok great. Go ahead and relax your body......do you feel relaxed?"
Nat: "Yeah I feel pretty good."
Doctor: "Ok. So according to the bio feedback your muscle tension is at about 78......it's normal to be somewhere between 0 and 2."
Yep...... This is what real life and a full time job has done to me.
Trust me I'm grateful. After a year of intense searching, losing my sanity (several times), taking way too many naps, and compromising my art I finally found the most amazing job I could ever ask for. It's not easy, but I can wear yoga pants everyday, so I've essentially reached my primary goal. After working with these kids and trying to bring art to traumatized children I realized that I have arrived exactly where I am meant to be.
That being said. I spend the majority of my spare time looking up various destinations for my next vacation.
I used to think that all of my troubles would be solved once I graduated college. Then I realized I had a whole new set of troubles and that those would be solved once I got a big girl job. Now that I have that I've finally been able to relate to one of the greatest statements of all time: "Mo money mo problems"
At the wise old age of 24 I've officially figured out that the older I get the less I know. I've also come to terms with the fact that I need at least 9 hours of sleep to function. If you all thought that I acted like a grandma before, you should see me now.
Recently I've also been having strange thoughts of adulthood. Thoughts like saving money, house hunting, getting wifed up, have all crossed my mind. For some people this is normal, for me I'm thinking it's a sure sign of some sort of mental illness. I'm assuming I've been a victim of an unknown propoganda scam. Most likely delievered through Facebook, I knew that site was trouble.
I got a new nephew last month. He's perfect. Just like my other nephew. I love being an aunt. You can have children without dealing with the financial burden or the birthing experience.
One of my co workers told me that I needed to have a talk show. I told him that since my voice is unusually irritating a reality show might be the better choice. Then everyone could see how ridiculous my life is. But then I realized that the t.v screen would add 10 more pounds to my already fluffy figure. I think I'm a little too young to be a role model for the morbidly obese community, so I decided to wait a few years.
Thankfully I've noticed that a woman's weight really doesn't affect the amount of male attention she receives. I've never been as huge as I am now and I've also never brought as many boys to the yard...it must be my milkshake.
Back to my muscle tension. Apparently I've been internalizing all of my anxiety these last 6 years and it is now showing up in my body. Perfect. I was told I should probably be getting frequent massages. I don't like massages, they give me anxiety.....do you see my issue? So I've been spending a lot of time performing my prescribed relaxation techniques and dancing freely.
Speaking of dancing freely. I still love dancing. I'm still obsessed with teaching. And I think we could all use a little bit of comp class right now about now........p.s no dance major thought any one of us would ever feel that way.
Lets also thank the universe that Jay-z's new album is amazing and that on December 3rd of this year I will be reunited with my hero Beyonce. All hail hova...... And my Queen B.
That's the update. If you need me I'll be trying to save children, teaching dance, doing yoga, trying to fall in love, and idolizing Beyonce.
Love Always,
Nat
