It has become very apparent that at the seemingly young age of 23 I need to start considering retirement. Despite my hatred for retail I am struggling to find confidence in anything else. And as far as teaching goes it has come to my attention that every Wednesday after my four hours with the children I am extremely tense and sore......I have a feeling my choreography has become too real for even me. I can barely move right now, I guess I popped and locked it too hard, thank God I knew better than to drop it.
Speaking of dancing, I just watched the "Gangam Style" music video right now. It is by far the most brilliant thing I've ever seen. I was doing those moves 15 years ago, too bad I phones didn't exist yet.
But in all honesty. I am essentially writing this blog to avoid the e-mail that I need to send to my dream employer about how I cannot accept his offer because it does not accommodate my schedule. In times like these when everyone I know is in debt due to college, credit cards, or in my case the basic cost of living, who am I to turn down a job offer. I won't regret it because I know that I have my priorities right, it's just that these are big girl decisions and I don't even want to get out of bed.
I know that my future is not for me to know yet but I wish I had enough courage to see beyond what's happening now. Everyone knows that I hate change but for someone who's obsessed with journaling and meditating you would think I'd be able to at least understand myself better. But no. This is the girl that avoided dealing with her broken heart for an entire year, has worked at the same lame retail store for 5 and half, and pressed snooze approximately 7 times this morning. Shoot.
In other news. I'm moving to Yosemite.
I spent this entire weekend living out my life long dream of being Pocahantas. There is definitely something to be said for an abundance of tall colored trees, falling leaves, sleeping outside, walking in meadows, deer, giant rocks, boys that know how to build tents, sitting in the middle of a river, glaciers, not showering, triple layering your socks, the idea that my world came from an explosion and that in the end, just like the beginning, we are all made of stars.
I also just had a realization that after countless educational papers and so much time spent writing I am still not 100% sure when you should use "too" as opposed to "to". If this bothers you, I apologize, thankfully I was still able to obtain my degree, so it's all good in the hood.
My cat Katie has officially become my new hero. After years spent ruling the streets, regulating on opossums and various other animals, she has retired to a spacious box on our kitchen floor. She is happy napping, getting pet, and occasionally yelling at us when we don't give her enough attention. Our lives seem really parallel, I can't wait to be just like her.
I am so thankful for that job offer. I can't believe that super nice man thought that a girl with a dance degree, a really loud laugh, an affinity to all things east coast, and basically no experience was worth his position. I'm annoyed that I have to tell him no and even more annoyed that I can't imagine something better. That's ok. I think that overall, I've learned through my experiences of sleeping in forests and idolizing Katie that everything else is much bigger than me. I'll find my place soon enough. For now I need to focus on applying to even more jobs, remembering to always check my spam because sometimes there's worthwhile stuff in there, getting out of bed in a timely manner, writing my feminist novel, doing more pilates, and most importantly...... moisturizing.
"I don't run because I hear the train. If I miss it. It wasn't mine. "
Love Always,
Nat <3
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
Matters of the Heart
Firstly, I can always count on Tegan and Sara to release a song pertaining to the very thoughts I've been having all week on the very day that they all imploded in my mind. Let me just briefly state that I absolutely love Tegan and Sara...... Forever...... Almost every song. I would date either of them instantly, but preferably Sara.
That being said, here is the order in which I love people.
1. I'm 23 years old, I have no real financial burdens and I know an unnecessary amount of information about an unnecessary amount of topics. So obviously I am my first priority. If I learned anything in the past year it is that you must love yourself the most, be brave, and be especially true to your passions. Recognize where you thrive and try not to let it scare you. We are all allowed days in which we lay in our beds and cry about it. But hopefully at the end of that day you understand and respect yourself a little more
2. I love my mother the second most. If it weren't for her and her sacrifices there would be no me. Also, I believe in getting crazy and doing whatever you want as long as your mom isn't disappointed. Luckily, my mom is pretty crazy, and does exactly what she wants. Duh.
3. I love my sister. She is the only person who will ever understand my entire life because she was there for the whole thing...... and she lived it too.
4. Then the rest of my family and the friends whom I elect to be my family. I will also say that I was graced with the most wonderful friends and I have no idea how I got so lucky =)
5. Beyonce. Enough said.
So where does the love of my life fit in? Do I get a soul mate? I'm really not sure. Ever since you're little you wait for the prince and God help the girl that waits for her princess.......We are born thinking that we get to have the wedding and be just like our parents. Luckily, I was a feminist since birth and never once cared about boyfriends or weddings, but let's stick with the generalizations. So you get to high school and you hold hands, find body parts and fall in love. After however long that has taken you inevitably and far too often irreversibly get your heart broken. You would think you've learned your lesson.....but you didn't. You'll go in circles with the same one, or even a new one and repeatedly make the same mistakes until your heart gets tired. Then you encounter the "you don't give a fuck" (except for you actually do) stage. This is where you fill your time trying really hard to stay "unattached". After a lot of fun, wasted time, and people who may have stood a chance, you're officially tired. Tired of thinking about anyone else and all matters of the heart.
No matter how jaded I've become I am still really good at loving my list of 5 people, my life, and especially rap music. Broken hearts don't affect our ability to love they affect our minds in the sense that we cannot help but be weary. We are defensive, controlling, and essentially scared. I think broken hearts can derail us from our dreams and passions, and make us less brave in loving ourselves. But I think that mostly, we've been approaching this the wrong way.
During the falling in love process we confuse affection with romance and romance with love. But the more I think about it the more I realize that true love is what I have for my family and elected family. It has nothing to do with hand holding and promising. Obviously sometimes it gets to that, but we should never have those expectations because then we compromise the possibility of genuine soul mates. For the people who I fell in love with...... when I thought it was perfect and I was all set.....they're gone. They left without a trace. So I have to re assess what I define as in love. Maybe it's not the body parts and emotional letters. We are never going to find our soul mates if we create a type for ourselves, or sabotage friendships before you even hold hands. You are especially not finding a soul mate if you go looking for one. All I have to say, is do not rule out the boy that's 12 years older than you, or the one you found at a New Years party when you thought it was all over.....=)
Another word of advice. Stop trying to please boys, girls, or our culture, and just please yourself. I know it's really hard and I try to save all of the girls I teach from the advertising, curling irons, and negative self images. But I know it's a struggle.To all of the people who judged my harry potter shirts, hair in a bun, sequins headband, and lack of knowledge about any makeup......I'm pretty sure I was right. Being genuine is really important.
Please note. All of this relationship wisdom is coming from the chronically single girl. Who has read every book in the Women's Studies shelf at Barnes and Noble and is more often than not mistaken for a lesbian.
If you lost me somewhere in the middle just know that you need to love your mother, invest in quality friendships, and be genuine. For any further questions listen to Tegan and Sara's new song "Closer", they'll tell you all about it.
Love Always, Nat
That being said, here is the order in which I love people.
1. I'm 23 years old, I have no real financial burdens and I know an unnecessary amount of information about an unnecessary amount of topics. So obviously I am my first priority. If I learned anything in the past year it is that you must love yourself the most, be brave, and be especially true to your passions. Recognize where you thrive and try not to let it scare you. We are all allowed days in which we lay in our beds and cry about it. But hopefully at the end of that day you understand and respect yourself a little more
2. I love my mother the second most. If it weren't for her and her sacrifices there would be no me. Also, I believe in getting crazy and doing whatever you want as long as your mom isn't disappointed. Luckily, my mom is pretty crazy, and does exactly what she wants. Duh.
3. I love my sister. She is the only person who will ever understand my entire life because she was there for the whole thing...... and she lived it too.
4. Then the rest of my family and the friends whom I elect to be my family. I will also say that I was graced with the most wonderful friends and I have no idea how I got so lucky =)
5. Beyonce. Enough said.
So where does the love of my life fit in? Do I get a soul mate? I'm really not sure. Ever since you're little you wait for the prince and God help the girl that waits for her princess.......We are born thinking that we get to have the wedding and be just like our parents. Luckily, I was a feminist since birth and never once cared about boyfriends or weddings, but let's stick with the generalizations. So you get to high school and you hold hands, find body parts and fall in love. After however long that has taken you inevitably and far too often irreversibly get your heart broken. You would think you've learned your lesson.....but you didn't. You'll go in circles with the same one, or even a new one and repeatedly make the same mistakes until your heart gets tired. Then you encounter the "you don't give a fuck" (except for you actually do) stage. This is where you fill your time trying really hard to stay "unattached". After a lot of fun, wasted time, and people who may have stood a chance, you're officially tired. Tired of thinking about anyone else and all matters of the heart.
No matter how jaded I've become I am still really good at loving my list of 5 people, my life, and especially rap music. Broken hearts don't affect our ability to love they affect our minds in the sense that we cannot help but be weary. We are defensive, controlling, and essentially scared. I think broken hearts can derail us from our dreams and passions, and make us less brave in loving ourselves. But I think that mostly, we've been approaching this the wrong way.
During the falling in love process we confuse affection with romance and romance with love. But the more I think about it the more I realize that true love is what I have for my family and elected family. It has nothing to do with hand holding and promising. Obviously sometimes it gets to that, but we should never have those expectations because then we compromise the possibility of genuine soul mates. For the people who I fell in love with...... when I thought it was perfect and I was all set.....they're gone. They left without a trace. So I have to re assess what I define as in love. Maybe it's not the body parts and emotional letters. We are never going to find our soul mates if we create a type for ourselves, or sabotage friendships before you even hold hands. You are especially not finding a soul mate if you go looking for one. All I have to say, is do not rule out the boy that's 12 years older than you, or the one you found at a New Years party when you thought it was all over.....=)
Another word of advice. Stop trying to please boys, girls, or our culture, and just please yourself. I know it's really hard and I try to save all of the girls I teach from the advertising, curling irons, and negative self images. But I know it's a struggle.To all of the people who judged my harry potter shirts, hair in a bun, sequins headband, and lack of knowledge about any makeup......I'm pretty sure I was right. Being genuine is really important.
Please note. All of this relationship wisdom is coming from the chronically single girl. Who has read every book in the Women's Studies shelf at Barnes and Noble and is more often than not mistaken for a lesbian.
If you lost me somewhere in the middle just know that you need to love your mother, invest in quality friendships, and be genuine. For any further questions listen to Tegan and Sara's new song "Closer", they'll tell you all about it.
Love Always, Nat
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Post Collegiate Depression
All of the best artists always have some sort of creative catastrophe or ultimate breakdown.... Martha Graham went crazy, Jay Z retired, Britney Spears shaved her head, and poor Van Gough killed himself before anyone ever liked him. I mean, clearly I'm no where near comparable to these people, (even though I will be), but I guess I needed my own sense of personal tragedy to inspire my future works of genius. Obviously. Luckily, I'm not alone. I graduated with beautiful people who understand my uphill artistic battle completely. Even though none of our breakdowns or seemingly senseless conniptions will be relevant when we're famous, right now, they are way too extreme. You know you are suffering from post collegiate depression (PCD, which is a self established term that I should probably patent before some medical company tries to take credit for my research) when you can relate to any of the following:
1. You no longer have any idea where you will be next Thursday at 1:00. Every college student has nearly every hour of their week scheduled. A lack of a consistent schedule is detrimental to our sanity. This brings upon feelings of uncertainty, which instead of making you feel more "free" makes you feel more irate.
2. Annoyance, anxiety, anger, and ambiguity are basically the only emotions you can relate to.
3. You do not, under any circumstance want to wear pants. There is this strange new thing about clothing I have noticed since I have entered post graduate adulthood. I don't want anything touching me. Clothes have become far too confining. Not only are you way fatter so nothing fits, you just do not have the energy to even think about putting anything on. Jeans and bras have become my absolute worst nightmare.
4. Once you graduate every single thing that could possibly go wrong pretty much does. You do not get the teaching schedule you want, your car breaks, you're poor, you have a dry scalp, low blood pressure, everyone hates you at work, people become way more ignorant, you're always thirsty, and your college calls to tell you that even though you thought you graduated, you actually didn't.
5. If you only scream or cry once that day......it's probably the best day of the week.
6. The only romance necessary or present in your life includes a boy, air conditioning or a fan, and t.v....... To be honest, you could probably do without the boy.
7. You're reading books about forced adoption in the 60's or the untimely death of Amy Winehouse because those are pretty much the only two situations worse than your own.
8. You miss dancing and every time you think of last year and your amazing teachers you start crying. This usually occurs in the car, in public, or while teaching your own children. Trust me.
I know that all of this is a massive over dramatization and that eventually I will be ok. I'm assuming I'll be fine once I'm famous. Which brings me to a whole other list of things I need to focus on:
I am more likely to become published and famous when I:
1. Write more blogs.
2. Eat less candy.....But then again eating candy makes me fatter, which makes my boobs bigger. And statistically I have a much better chance of employment and fame the larger my breasts.....this is how I rationalize all those sour patch kids.
It's been a pleasure complaining. If you made it to this point in the blog without hating me for how ungrateful I sound you are either an amazing friend or my mother. Regardless, thank you.
Love, Nat =)
1. You no longer have any idea where you will be next Thursday at 1:00. Every college student has nearly every hour of their week scheduled. A lack of a consistent schedule is detrimental to our sanity. This brings upon feelings of uncertainty, which instead of making you feel more "free" makes you feel more irate.
2. Annoyance, anxiety, anger, and ambiguity are basically the only emotions you can relate to.
3. You do not, under any circumstance want to wear pants. There is this strange new thing about clothing I have noticed since I have entered post graduate adulthood. I don't want anything touching me. Clothes have become far too confining. Not only are you way fatter so nothing fits, you just do not have the energy to even think about putting anything on. Jeans and bras have become my absolute worst nightmare.
4. Once you graduate every single thing that could possibly go wrong pretty much does. You do not get the teaching schedule you want, your car breaks, you're poor, you have a dry scalp, low blood pressure, everyone hates you at work, people become way more ignorant, you're always thirsty, and your college calls to tell you that even though you thought you graduated, you actually didn't.
5. If you only scream or cry once that day......it's probably the best day of the week.
6. The only romance necessary or present in your life includes a boy, air conditioning or a fan, and t.v....... To be honest, you could probably do without the boy.
7. You're reading books about forced adoption in the 60's or the untimely death of Amy Winehouse because those are pretty much the only two situations worse than your own.
8. You miss dancing and every time you think of last year and your amazing teachers you start crying. This usually occurs in the car, in public, or while teaching your own children. Trust me.
I know that all of this is a massive over dramatization and that eventually I will be ok. I'm assuming I'll be fine once I'm famous. Which brings me to a whole other list of things I need to focus on:
I am more likely to become published and famous when I:
1. Write more blogs.
2. Eat less candy.....But then again eating candy makes me fatter, which makes my boobs bigger. And statistically I have a much better chance of employment and fame the larger my breasts.....this is how I rationalize all those sour patch kids.
It's been a pleasure complaining. If you made it to this point in the blog without hating me for how ungrateful I sound you are either an amazing friend or my mother. Regardless, thank you.
Love, Nat =)
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Post Graduation Crisis.
In an unexpected yet delightful turn of events I, Natalie Lynn Faris graduated from college. Some may have seen it coming, seeing as I had been in school for the past 5 years, but personally I was shocked. It was the most amazing day ever. That being said. No one really graduates from a Cal State. They walk across a stage before they pay 6 more fees, take at least two summer school classes, and then receive their diploma ten months later. I love education, it's a real treat.
When I was 16 years old I did not own a hair straightener. I did not believe in bobby pins, blow dryers or hair spray of any kind. I made sure to dress everyday in my best sweats, dance shirt and accessorize with a sequins headband. The only things I really cared about were dancing, and my dreamy boyfriend. Yep. While my dancing career was at an all time high and my image awareness at an all time low, I was dating the cutest most charming boy in school. I'm assuming it was my personality that won him over because it definitely wasn't the headband. Now at 23 I possess my very own straightener, dance degree, and strong opposition to any mention of boyfriends. I mean, I thought I definitely upped my game in the last seven years but I guess that's negotioable.
As a smart single girl I have learned that boyfriends don't matter. Instead, I need to worry about art, family, friends, the children I teach and vacations. In that very specific order. But now, as I approach the year of at least three weddings I'm starting to wonder about my own prospects. Obviously I have my own much too feminist opinions on weddings, but I'm still secretly crossing my fingers for the day that some brilliant artist realizes that I'm the one. Or even Lil Wayne, I could be in love with Lil Wayne. But even as I typed that I immidiatley remembered that it has almost been a full year since my latest heartbreak and Lil Wayne probably doesn't believe in marriage either. So I guess we're all gravy.
I need to move to Los Angeles. Had I written this blog six months ago I would have said the exact opposite of that statement. But I think it's time for my very own big girl life. Which hopefully does not include eight hour workdays or a job that requires shoes. I'm pretty sure I was Pocahantas in my last life and re born as a modern day gypsy. Either way, I don't do shoes.
I miss dancing. I am already having withdrawls from my college classes and it's been less than a month. You know you were born crazy when three weeks with no ballet is a fate worse than death. I have finally outgrown Tillys and am scared out of my mind. I want a new job but I don't want to find one. I want to be in L.a but I don't want to move. I want to be in New York but I think the universe is arguing with me. And lastly, I want to be a famous Broadway star, but I don't know how to sing. Thankfully we can blame my parents for the last one.
If my ten year old self could see me now she would wonder why I haven't released at least two albums, been on t.v, and won an Oscar. Time really is ticking. All of these thoughts make me want Albertos. Which reminds me. I thought emotinal eating was a temporary college condition. Don't worry. I was very wrong. Burning off what you ate is a temporary college condition, once you graduate all of those emotions go directly to your ass. Perfect.
All of that said, I think I'm coping pretty well. Graduating college is nothing that a good pair of leggings can't fix. Wish me luck. Hopefully my next blog is written in an apartment that I share with my gay bestie, that I pay way too much for. Dear real world, this should be good.
Love Always,
Nat <3
When I was 16 years old I did not own a hair straightener. I did not believe in bobby pins, blow dryers or hair spray of any kind. I made sure to dress everyday in my best sweats, dance shirt and accessorize with a sequins headband. The only things I really cared about were dancing, and my dreamy boyfriend. Yep. While my dancing career was at an all time high and my image awareness at an all time low, I was dating the cutest most charming boy in school. I'm assuming it was my personality that won him over because it definitely wasn't the headband. Now at 23 I possess my very own straightener, dance degree, and strong opposition to any mention of boyfriends. I mean, I thought I definitely upped my game in the last seven years but I guess that's negotioable.
As a smart single girl I have learned that boyfriends don't matter. Instead, I need to worry about art, family, friends, the children I teach and vacations. In that very specific order. But now, as I approach the year of at least three weddings I'm starting to wonder about my own prospects. Obviously I have my own much too feminist opinions on weddings, but I'm still secretly crossing my fingers for the day that some brilliant artist realizes that I'm the one. Or even Lil Wayne, I could be in love with Lil Wayne. But even as I typed that I immidiatley remembered that it has almost been a full year since my latest heartbreak and Lil Wayne probably doesn't believe in marriage either. So I guess we're all gravy.
I need to move to Los Angeles. Had I written this blog six months ago I would have said the exact opposite of that statement. But I think it's time for my very own big girl life. Which hopefully does not include eight hour workdays or a job that requires shoes. I'm pretty sure I was Pocahantas in my last life and re born as a modern day gypsy. Either way, I don't do shoes.
I miss dancing. I am already having withdrawls from my college classes and it's been less than a month. You know you were born crazy when three weeks with no ballet is a fate worse than death. I have finally outgrown Tillys and am scared out of my mind. I want a new job but I don't want to find one. I want to be in L.a but I don't want to move. I want to be in New York but I think the universe is arguing with me. And lastly, I want to be a famous Broadway star, but I don't know how to sing. Thankfully we can blame my parents for the last one.
If my ten year old self could see me now she would wonder why I haven't released at least two albums, been on t.v, and won an Oscar. Time really is ticking. All of these thoughts make me want Albertos. Which reminds me. I thought emotinal eating was a temporary college condition. Don't worry. I was very wrong. Burning off what you ate is a temporary college condition, once you graduate all of those emotions go directly to your ass. Perfect.
All of that said, I think I'm coping pretty well. Graduating college is nothing that a good pair of leggings can't fix. Wish me luck. Hopefully my next blog is written in an apartment that I share with my gay bestie, that I pay way too much for. Dear real world, this should be good.
Love Always,
Nat <3
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Don't mind the excessive run-on's =)
So I still haven't quite figured out how to appropriatley begin these blogs, and I'm not too sure which direction this is about to go or what wisdom I will be imparting upon you all.....so let's begin with my day:
I awoke this morning at 8 so that I could teach the children at 9. I decided to take the ghetto van to La Verne because all of the other vehicles were being used at the time. "Go easy on the brakes" my dad said, it turns out the brakes were the least of my worries. I pulled up to mcdonalds to get my coffee for the morning becuase p.s their coffee is cheaper than starbucks and equally as delicious, I've realized this about $300 too late. But that's just an estimation. As I pulled up to the first window to pay I realized that I left my wallet in the car I drove last night. This is what I get for driving every other car besides my own to avoid putting gas in it. Ugh. As I pull out of Mcdonalds I quickly realize that the drivers window will not roll up. Perfect. It's not like it's raining and I need to get onto three different freeways right now. As I was on freeway number one, slowly approaching freeway number two (remember I'm minding the brakes) the gas light went on. Awesome. At this point I have no money, no gas, and a soaked left side. When I arrive at the studio to teach my first hip hop class which typically consists of 6 four year olds I find that everyone and their best friend (literally) wants to try my class out that morning. 6 students quickly jumped to 11. That's not including the 5 people that stood in the back wanting to observe my class to see if it's worthy of their kid. Needless to say it was cray. 2 Emma's and 2 Christina's. That's not confusing. My 10:00 class was pretty normal, as normal as junior hip hop with 6 year olds gets. I did receive a beautiful hand made piggy bank complete with a heart and personal photo from one of my favorite student's Alexis. It was most likely the highlight of my week. I then waited for my mommy to bring me six dollars so that I could drive the ghetto van home, thankfully the rain had stopped. Came home to an emo sissy. All I have to say is that my beautiful sister is royal. Princesses do not fare well with broken hearts. Thankfully she's a fierce bitch who moves on and gets over things. Her ladies in waiting (a.k.a me) are not as forgiving. Princess Birdie is the best thing to ever happen to anyone she meets. DUH. That being said. I annoyed her today, like I do almost everyday, and our interaction consisted of her telling me bye, and to please get out of her room. Story of my life. LOVE YOU SHMI. Moving on.... I also found out today that I may not be spending as much time per week with a Libra that I absolutly love. She's an integral part of my soul and of my Encore life. I'm devastated in light of her possible absence. WAH. In other eff my life moments..... don't you hate it when you're talking to your bestie and your face accidentally dials that boy you were unexpectedly in love with, who has pushed you all the way out of his life and you've spent the past 6 months trying to get over.? Because I do. And then the kicker is when he calls you back twice and you have an anxiety attack when you see those missed calls during your lunch at work.Shoot man. After work I was two hours late to taco night which was delightful except as my nephew was throwing a fit I quickly downloaded angry birds. I became obsessed with it an hour later and then saw that my nephew had achieved 4 levels higher than I did. Good thing he's three. Today was quite the series of unfortunate events and I would normally be overjoyed to go to bed and wake up tomorrow so that I can start brand new. Except for tomorrow is the Sunday before spring semester. Ew.
I absolutly detest spring semester. I can't remember the last good one I've had. But then, I guess who can remember the last good semester they've had? School sucks. Especially when you're an artist who has simotaneous breakthroughs and breakdowns daily. Oh well. Like all horrible things I will probably miss it when it's gone. If the world doesn't end before then.
I'm assessing for ballet and modern 4 this week. This is essentially all I've wanted for the past 5 years and now more than ever. I think I can do it. I think I will do it. And I finally put it out in the universe so there's no going back.
That's basically my only priority. Dancing aspirations aside, this is the list of other things I want:
-My mom to put the t.v back into the living room so that I can watch tivo whenever I feel.
-My New York trip to be amazing and glorious and beautiful. Filled with lots of broadway and culture.
-For my retainer to one day fit in my mouth again and fix my wandering teeth.
-To get an i pod and finally catch up with my 10 year old students who far surpass me in all technological gadgets.
-To remember everyday that I am a lucky girl, who gets to do amazing things daily, and that as I rant and complain I need to also accept, love, and recognize everything that is around me.
Goodnight. Keep it gangster.
-Nat <3
I awoke this morning at 8 so that I could teach the children at 9. I decided to take the ghetto van to La Verne because all of the other vehicles were being used at the time. "Go easy on the brakes" my dad said, it turns out the brakes were the least of my worries. I pulled up to mcdonalds to get my coffee for the morning becuase p.s their coffee is cheaper than starbucks and equally as delicious, I've realized this about $300 too late. But that's just an estimation. As I pulled up to the first window to pay I realized that I left my wallet in the car I drove last night. This is what I get for driving every other car besides my own to avoid putting gas in it. Ugh. As I pull out of Mcdonalds I quickly realize that the drivers window will not roll up. Perfect. It's not like it's raining and I need to get onto three different freeways right now. As I was on freeway number one, slowly approaching freeway number two (remember I'm minding the brakes) the gas light went on. Awesome. At this point I have no money, no gas, and a soaked left side. When I arrive at the studio to teach my first hip hop class which typically consists of 6 four year olds I find that everyone and their best friend (literally) wants to try my class out that morning. 6 students quickly jumped to 11. That's not including the 5 people that stood in the back wanting to observe my class to see if it's worthy of their kid. Needless to say it was cray. 2 Emma's and 2 Christina's. That's not confusing. My 10:00 class was pretty normal, as normal as junior hip hop with 6 year olds gets. I did receive a beautiful hand made piggy bank complete with a heart and personal photo from one of my favorite student's Alexis. It was most likely the highlight of my week. I then waited for my mommy to bring me six dollars so that I could drive the ghetto van home, thankfully the rain had stopped. Came home to an emo sissy. All I have to say is that my beautiful sister is royal. Princesses do not fare well with broken hearts. Thankfully she's a fierce bitch who moves on and gets over things. Her ladies in waiting (a.k.a me) are not as forgiving. Princess Birdie is the best thing to ever happen to anyone she meets. DUH. That being said. I annoyed her today, like I do almost everyday, and our interaction consisted of her telling me bye, and to please get out of her room. Story of my life. LOVE YOU SHMI. Moving on.... I also found out today that I may not be spending as much time per week with a Libra that I absolutly love. She's an integral part of my soul and of my Encore life. I'm devastated in light of her possible absence. WAH. In other eff my life moments..... don't you hate it when you're talking to your bestie and your face accidentally dials that boy you were unexpectedly in love with, who has pushed you all the way out of his life and you've spent the past 6 months trying to get over.? Because I do. And then the kicker is when he calls you back twice and you have an anxiety attack when you see those missed calls during your lunch at work.Shoot man. After work I was two hours late to taco night which was delightful except as my nephew was throwing a fit I quickly downloaded angry birds. I became obsessed with it an hour later and then saw that my nephew had achieved 4 levels higher than I did. Good thing he's three. Today was quite the series of unfortunate events and I would normally be overjoyed to go to bed and wake up tomorrow so that I can start brand new. Except for tomorrow is the Sunday before spring semester. Ew.
I absolutly detest spring semester. I can't remember the last good one I've had. But then, I guess who can remember the last good semester they've had? School sucks. Especially when you're an artist who has simotaneous breakthroughs and breakdowns daily. Oh well. Like all horrible things I will probably miss it when it's gone. If the world doesn't end before then.
I'm assessing for ballet and modern 4 this week. This is essentially all I've wanted for the past 5 years and now more than ever. I think I can do it. I think I will do it. And I finally put it out in the universe so there's no going back.
That's basically my only priority. Dancing aspirations aside, this is the list of other things I want:
-My mom to put the t.v back into the living room so that I can watch tivo whenever I feel.
-My New York trip to be amazing and glorious and beautiful. Filled with lots of broadway and culture.
-For my retainer to one day fit in my mouth again and fix my wandering teeth.
-To get an i pod and finally catch up with my 10 year old students who far surpass me in all technological gadgets.
-To remember everyday that I am a lucky girl, who gets to do amazing things daily, and that as I rant and complain I need to also accept, love, and recognize everything that is around me.
Goodnight. Keep it gangster.
-Nat <3
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Disclaimer.
Hi. I'm not too sure if the life and times of Natalie Faris is blog worthy, but I like to tell stories so hopefully those will suffice. You know how everything online has a "terms of service" that you never read becase they make it unbearably long and abnormally tiny, I think I will make a terms of service for this blog. I'm feeling a little bit of pressure becuase I feel like all of the witty things I have ever thought suddenly disappeared once I began this entry. But the following are rules of my life and writing that one must accept when getting themselves into my blog, and in turn my mind:
1. My faith lies in my belief in the universe, fate, destiny, angels, ALIENS, my family, my students, and most importantly myself. Instead of praying I just focus my energy on those things.
2. There is no doubt in my mind that anybody loves Jay-z, Beyonce, Vanessa Carlton, Daniel Radcliff, Regis Philbin, Lil Wayne, Muriel Joyce, or Karlie Faris more than me. I think being so inspired that it could be considered borderline obsessive with someone is overall really positive. It shows dedication and goals. I waited by myself for 5 hours in the front row of the main stage at coachella, with over 45,000 extremely intoxicated people behind me so that Jay-z would acknowledge me. Before that I flew to New York and waited outside the back door of Equus for 5 nights straight so that Daniel Radcliff would sign my program. If you think these make me crazy, you'll probably want to stop reading, because until several people told me I thought all of that was completly normal.
3. Please don't be fooled by my white exterior. Inside I am a black woman, who tries really hard to speak accurate spanish. I was clearly born into the wrong body. It's like transcultural. Duh.
4. I really like astrology but I only believe it when it has something nice to say about Picses. I also think Pisces is by far the best sign. I have a personal affinity towards Geminis, Libras, and whether or not it's good for me, Aries.
5. If you don't believe in aliens don't tell me. I'll judge you harshly.
6. If you are annoyed by reality television this is not the blog for you. Survivor was a main staple of my childhood and I am obsessed with Jersey Shore and The Bachelor.
7. I know I'm really strange and that it's easy to become annoyed with me. Instead of being emo I just try to assume that "If you got haters, you're doing something right" as all real gangsters should.
8. I abbreviate everything. It's a conviniant habit developed my senior year of high school. Perf.
9. I'm pretty much over these rules but I do want to say that my favorite things are manners and movement.
Today I only ate three chocolate chip cookies for lunch so by the time 9:30 p.m rolled around I was obviously famished. I went to the movies to go watch New Years Eve with my bestie Amber. (we've danced together since I was 4. she'll most likely become a frequent character on this blog. she's also one of my heroes) and I got a hot dog with some popcorn for us to split. Like all American consumers I obviously upgraded our popcorn to a large for $1.50 more. (P.s i just remembered i forgot to make the lady swipe my rewards card. UGH) That $1.50 lasted for approximatley 7 more minutes before I spilled all of it onto the theatre floor. This is a prime example of how my life goes. Hopefully you'll enjoy it.
On the bright side, my two idols Beyonce and Jay-Z had their baby today. Her name is Ivy. I'm going to pretend her name is Queen-Z. My newest goal is to be her dance teacher within the next 4 years. Perf.
The moral of the story: Cheers to Gary Marshall and how every movie he directs directly touches my soul. Further cheers to Queen-Z and how she has got to be the richest infant in the world.
<3 Nat
1. My faith lies in my belief in the universe, fate, destiny, angels, ALIENS, my family, my students, and most importantly myself. Instead of praying I just focus my energy on those things.
2. There is no doubt in my mind that anybody loves Jay-z, Beyonce, Vanessa Carlton, Daniel Radcliff, Regis Philbin, Lil Wayne, Muriel Joyce, or Karlie Faris more than me. I think being so inspired that it could be considered borderline obsessive with someone is overall really positive. It shows dedication and goals. I waited by myself for 5 hours in the front row of the main stage at coachella, with over 45,000 extremely intoxicated people behind me so that Jay-z would acknowledge me. Before that I flew to New York and waited outside the back door of Equus for 5 nights straight so that Daniel Radcliff would sign my program. If you think these make me crazy, you'll probably want to stop reading, because until several people told me I thought all of that was completly normal.
3. Please don't be fooled by my white exterior. Inside I am a black woman, who tries really hard to speak accurate spanish. I was clearly born into the wrong body. It's like transcultural. Duh.
4. I really like astrology but I only believe it when it has something nice to say about Picses. I also think Pisces is by far the best sign. I have a personal affinity towards Geminis, Libras, and whether or not it's good for me, Aries.
5. If you don't believe in aliens don't tell me. I'll judge you harshly.
6. If you are annoyed by reality television this is not the blog for you. Survivor was a main staple of my childhood and I am obsessed with Jersey Shore and The Bachelor.
7. I know I'm really strange and that it's easy to become annoyed with me. Instead of being emo I just try to assume that "If you got haters, you're doing something right" as all real gangsters should.
8. I abbreviate everything. It's a conviniant habit developed my senior year of high school. Perf.
9. I'm pretty much over these rules but I do want to say that my favorite things are manners and movement.
Today I only ate three chocolate chip cookies for lunch so by the time 9:30 p.m rolled around I was obviously famished. I went to the movies to go watch New Years Eve with my bestie Amber. (we've danced together since I was 4. she'll most likely become a frequent character on this blog. she's also one of my heroes) and I got a hot dog with some popcorn for us to split. Like all American consumers I obviously upgraded our popcorn to a large for $1.50 more. (P.s i just remembered i forgot to make the lady swipe my rewards card. UGH) That $1.50 lasted for approximatley 7 more minutes before I spilled all of it onto the theatre floor. This is a prime example of how my life goes. Hopefully you'll enjoy it.
On the bright side, my two idols Beyonce and Jay-Z had their baby today. Her name is Ivy. I'm going to pretend her name is Queen-Z. My newest goal is to be her dance teacher within the next 4 years. Perf.
The moral of the story: Cheers to Gary Marshall and how every movie he directs directly touches my soul. Further cheers to Queen-Z and how she has got to be the richest infant in the world.
<3 Nat
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